I know you really all wanted to hear what a God thinks of as he pedals his lonely way through the cow poo strewn lanes. How do I know, well when I asked for a vote both my followers voted yes I should share my thoughts. I hope you have all seen the latest research which says men only think about sex every 53 minutes not every six minutes as previously thought. I knew that though as my 8.2 miles take about 54 minutes so I only ever think about sex once and then twice in every 53 bike rides! SO I hope you wont be disappointed with what I do think about.
Thought One.
Men and Women should only ever be allowed to have sex in January.
Its totally logical if you think about it. For a start it gives them (well the men anyway) something to look forward to after Xmas during those long days waiting for January pay day. But most importantly it means children will only be born in October/November thus ensuring that the spread of ages in the classroom does not disadvantage the offspring of parents who only ever have sex in October thus making them the youngest in the class by up to 10 months. Yes I really did spend one bike ride thinking about that.
Thought Two.
Why one earth do the Dartmouth Town Council think that a wandering steel band with tambourines and whistles is ever going to kick start the Christmas spirit during Candlelit dartmouth. Sounds more like a London Cyclists protest. Which reminds me, why do all cyclists behave like Nazis in London? Cant they see the colour red, dont they understand right of way? What happened to carols and mulled wine and Nat King Cole, "Fall on your knees, hear the angel voices, Oh night, Oh night divine"
Thought Three
I have been so inspired by The Choir, Military Wives that it got me thinking about whether I could combine the two. I am therefore starting a cycling choir. It will leave the farm at 945 on Xmas Morning after mulled wine and go to Blackpool Sands. Turn up and get the other half to pick you up there. We will carol along the main road then the lanes. What an idea, got to be a tv show in it.
So there it is just a few of the wierd, random thoughts I have while cycling.
The rest of the time I just think about sex
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