FAT FIFTYISH CYCLING GOD One mans quest to avoid insulin
Saturday 1 October 2011
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. I have a follower.
Will, the fiver is on the way you handsome, clever, entertaining, quick witted, future cycling God without wind you. Love you. Oliver, the same could apply to you mate!!!
Oh my sainted BUTT!!
I always thought cyclists are like IT people, nerdy, miserable and incapable of smiling.
AND now I know why. After yesterday I was fired up and the amazing Oliver surprisingly agreed to cycle with me to Kingsbridge and then on to Torcross in what turned out to be a 15 mile trip. But today I realised why these long distance guys always look so pained. Not only that but they have a secret world of creams and treatments and who can now blame them for taking any chemical help. Here's the beautiful truth (as Alan Carr the stop smoking guy said constantly), they dont smile and they constantly look pained BECAUSE cycling gives you wind!!! And not just ladylike, gentle, quiet non noxious stuff but rip roaring, explosive, underwear tearing, ring burning, foul, uncomfortable, stomach churning, thunderous, hurricane level gales.
So they are not a sad bunch, they just fart a lot and are constantly embarrassed by it so be more forgiving in future. It doesnt help with the speed either sadly. Oh well. I think my journey to be "one of them" has moved on apace today as I truly understand their pain, I am getting to be "one of them" and I had appaling wind on the A 379 (probably best to avoid for a week or so).
If I wasnt a cyclist I would be on Strictly Come Dancing by choice. As an extremely rude elderly BA air stew said yesterday, what happened to my TV career? Well the answer was IT STALLED OK. But Strictly could revive it and with my new slinky figure I am sure I could beat Edwina Currie ( cant really believe even she fancied John Major).
Another great day and on a serious note the Doc said my blood pressure is down so the Beat Insulin challenge is going well so far. Its addictive to be honest and I just hope I can keep it up when its pissing down in November. Hope the wind has gone by then though!!
Nice Tesco Chablis tonight Chateau de Ligny, tenner or so
AND now I know why. After yesterday I was fired up and the amazing Oliver surprisingly agreed to cycle with me to Kingsbridge and then on to Torcross in what turned out to be a 15 mile trip. But today I realised why these long distance guys always look so pained. Not only that but they have a secret world of creams and treatments and who can now blame them for taking any chemical help. Here's the beautiful truth (as Alan Carr the stop smoking guy said constantly), they dont smile and they constantly look pained BECAUSE cycling gives you wind!!! And not just ladylike, gentle, quiet non noxious stuff but rip roaring, explosive, underwear tearing, ring burning, foul, uncomfortable, stomach churning, thunderous, hurricane level gales.
So they are not a sad bunch, they just fart a lot and are constantly embarrassed by it so be more forgiving in future. It doesnt help with the speed either sadly. Oh well. I think my journey to be "one of them" has moved on apace today as I truly understand their pain, I am getting to be "one of them" and I had appaling wind on the A 379 (probably best to avoid for a week or so).
If I wasnt a cyclist I would be on Strictly Come Dancing by choice. As an extremely rude elderly BA air stew said yesterday, what happened to my TV career? Well the answer was IT STALLED OK. But Strictly could revive it and with my new slinky figure I am sure I could beat Edwina Currie ( cant really believe even she fancied John Major).
Another great day and on a serious note the Doc said my blood pressure is down so the Beat Insulin challenge is going well so far. Its addictive to be honest and I just hope I can keep it up when its pissing down in November. Hope the wind has gone by then though!!
Nice Tesco Chablis tonight Chateau de Ligny, tenner or so
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