I can't believe I just did that

I can't believe the situation I find myself in twenty four hours after the torrid tale of my puncture. Here's how I got here.

After a very small glass of Browns' finest fizz last night I had a relatively early night.

So I got up at six thirty this morning and an hour later was whizzing my way down the A38 towards Plymouth for my 8am appointment to get a new tyre fitted. Travelling at thirty on my doughnut tyre for any distance is excruciatingly boring but gave me a chance to catch up with emails etc!!!

I arrived at the tyre joint at 8.07 and about six of the tyre monkeys are standing round drinking tea. They look at me as if I am Dr Livingstone. Park in a bay mate says one. Why says I as I have an 8 am appointment. We'll get to you shortly he says. Anyway I parked up and they finished their tea. Then drove two cars (not mine) in and stood looking at them. The cry then went up, Kev , Andy breakfast is here and a mass exodus from the shop floor began. These huge doorsteps were handed out all round and they all started eating. Don't they bloody well eat  before they get to work? Do they even know what productivity means. Does the owner realise he is paying about six man hours every morning for them to eat bacon sandwiches and look down noses at customers. Don't they know I am in a fucking rush as I have a fight with Volvo to get to?

Anyway eventually my tyre was fitted. I turned down the free alignment as I couldn't face the thought of watching the ketchup dribble down Kev and Andy's and the others chins as they ate lunch.

I got to Exeter via a double sausage and egg McMuffin. Well to hell with the diet and diabetes. I have had a crap 24 hours. I don't think the bun started life growing in a field and they definitely serve the cheese with the plastic still on. Oh my,  those orgasmic sausage patties oozing flavoursome grease. Whats not to love.

Got to Volvo Exeter ready for a fight and they were as good as gold. Agreed with the bike rack problems and gave me a full refund there and then. I felt slightly cheated but drove off looking for Halfords. None to be seen. Went to a couple of cycle shops couldn't see exactly what I wanted so came home.

Went for an 8 mile ride, accompanied by wife (I think she wants her own blog!!), showered checked on line for bike racks and then set off again to search for the replacement. Another couple of bike shops and it was becoming obvious that the one I had and returned to Volvo was closest to what I wanted!!!!

I have ordered and paid a deposit on the same bike rack except not Volvo branded and at a cost of £35 more than my refund. I was too embarrassed just to go back to them and change my mind. I have no doubt I will be taking this rack back to the shop I am purchasing from as no doubt it will have the same problems as the last.

So my situation to get to the point. I have exactly the same bike rack on order that I owned yesterday except I have driven over 100 miles, paid a fortune for a tyre replacement, got covered in shit and spent more money for the same thing. What a complete load of utter utter bollocks as they say.

Tonight I am out to dinner at the house of friends who never stop pouring the wine. I shall not be turning any of it down with the excuse that I am still trying to drown my double sausage and egg McMuffin

Oh woe is me